Saying the wrong thing.

I say the wrong thing a lot...I am not sure why I do it, but I have to finally admit that. I say things that come out the wrong way and it's always the wrong time. I blurt things out that I don't even think about and know it's going to hurt my husband. Why, oh why do I do it? I don't like to be wrong. I am always right in my book, so when I am confronted about a decision or questioned I immediately become defensive. I tend to be too independent and not lean on E for guidance. I feel that I need to be independent because who wants to be dependent on someone forever and who wants to have someone else make all the decisions? Not this girl. I need to find balance though. I need to understand that we don't all have picture perfect days and that in a marriage not both parties are going to be happy at the same time as the other. If one has a bad day, is tired, fussy and down right full of an attitude, it's okay. That will pass and the next day is a new day. I tend to be smiley and happy and then when my partner in crime isn't that way I feel that the happiness is sucked out of me, but in reality it's not...it's just that we are in completely different moods. That's totally okay. I know this because I PMS really bad every month and E continues to smile and be happy. I know that there are times when we each will be happy when we hang out with friends, are at work, driving, playing golf, shopping because we have new stuff to talk about and new scenery with friends. Nothing is wrong with bad moods, happy moods, yelling, crying and smiling all at different times. I adore E and he makes me the happiest lady on the block 9 times out of 10. He is my everything and I need to remember that, be grateful for it and learn to shut my mouth because I want to stop staying the wrong things.