Friday, February 25, 2011

Rough week. & Something About Marriage.

It's been a ROUGH week...with all capital letters. I am not going to delve into it, but being told I need to change and not be an emotional person has me down. Hopefully, a fun-filled weekend with my girls and my hubby will cure me and my tears.
Moving on...
A gentlemen around the office is a recent divorcee. His wife hasn't worked a day in her life and they have a 12 year old daughter. Long story short, he is giving this ex a lot of money as well as a lot of money to his daughter (which is understandable, however, I feel most of the time the mom and in some cases father pocket the money). He makes REALLY good money, has a house that is paid off, has a great savings account and 401k and she is getting half of it all and the whole house. This makes me say...E, you are stuck with me FOR-EVA. ha. 
In thinking about divorce and marriage, I have wanted to put down the key points of what E and I do daily, which seems to make our marriage work and be really strong:
I take care of all the finances. E used to take care of this, however, he built houses for 7 years and was extremely stressed during those years. Getting online, checking the mail, seeing our money go out the door seemed to get to his blood pressure MOST months. One day I couldn't handle it and said, let me take care of this. I have internet access ALL DAY-5 days a week, so it's easy for me to manage our finances. This works perfectly because E never, ever gets stressed about money (me on the other hand...we won't go there).
I do all the laundry. I separate, wash, hang or fold all the clothes every week. I think this is more of a control thing! I don't mind the firsts-separate and wash, but boy do I hate folding clothes. I hate it, but I don't want E to do it because I am fearful he will ruin everything (sorry, but it's true). I have done our laundry for 10 years and will continue to do so for the next 60!
I clean the coffee pot every night. He makes the coffee every morning. For some reason, E's coffee making skills are 100times better than mine, therefore, I let him do what he is good at: Poor cinnamon and half&half into my coffee mug every morning (I don't use artificial sweetener or sugar in my coffee...I stopped when I was told I was borderline Type 2 Diabetic two years ago).
I cook, I clean the dishes. E cooks, I clean the dishes. E ALWAYS empties the dishwasher. It works for us and again I love to have control of my dishes going into the dishwasher and the way my pots and pans are cleaned. Yea, it's a sickness.
I vacummn every Saturday. 
We both do the yard. 
 We say Good Morning every single morning. 
We say good night every single night.
On Saturdays, I call E into the bedroom to snuggle. E absolutely loves to lives for it! It's cute, so every Saturday when I wake up I make sure to let him know I love to cuddle with him too. :)
We say I Love You often.
Did you know that one of the top reasons for cause of divorce above adultery is division of labor? That's why division of labor is so important to me. I don't want to argue about "you didn't take the trash out or the clothes need to be washed, yadayadayada."
E and I will be celebrating our 6 year wedding anniversary on April 2nd. We have been together for 10 years. No day is the same day in our marriage. We argue. There are days where we cannot stand eachother, but every day I look at my wedding rings and look into his eyes and remember my vows and that we said, Forever.

1 comment:

Jessica Renee said...

Not sure what happened with that first part but I too have been told I need to stop being so emotional. NOT FUN TO HEAR. I hope things are ok there :/

And y'all sound JUST like me and my fiance, with having our own duties...I hate the whole accusations of who didn't do what. It's so much easier this way!