Thursday, February 17, 2011

Parents' lessons.

Growing up there was one thing my parents didn't talk about with T and I or anyone else for that matter: MONEY! They never talked about how much they made, what their retirement fund looked like, how much was in their checking account, how much was in their savings just didn't happen. For that I am grateful because I learned from them. I rarely ever talk about finances with other people. I never will tell someone how much money a bonus was or how much my pay check is every two weeks. It will not happen. If someone asks, I will say "enough." I tend to believe it's no one's business. It doesn't matter if I make six figures, three figures, or five's none of your business. (i must add UNLESS someone is trying to negotiate a new salary or needs advice...I might give a range to help them out.)
Owning a business is tough and being a working woman is tough too. I cannot tell you how many times in the past year I have been asked, "So, how did y'all pay for the franchises?" Really? I do believe that isn't your business. Another, "How much was the total cost of the franchises and the amount of your lease and the amount of construction of the site?" Really? I believe that isn't your business. I think when you spill your guts and give all this information it leads to resentment and jealousy. This world is filled with so much jealousy it makes my stomach spin at 100mph. Why can we not be happy for one another? Why can we not celebrate in the sheer joy that someone is ABLE to spend money on Valentine's? What about..."must be nice to have your life." Well, honey if you get off your ass, look for a real job, venture out, be more driven and more career oriented, PERHAPS you could have a nice outing as well, but DO NOT be jealous and resent my husband and I because we work hard and save money and do special things every once in a while. I digress...
When we redid our kitchen, some of our best friends came over and they were elated with the outcome of the kitchen. They knew (especially, K) that it was exactly what we wanted and how happy we were that it was finally finished. Just their reaction made me happy. They put down new floors in their home and E and I are\were elated for them because it made them so happy to be able to accomplish such a thing. I think that's true friendship. The people that don't ask questions of "how the hell did you afford that?" It's none of your business. We can and might say..."Wow, that's awesome...did you get a good deal?" or "You want to buy floors for our house?" That's more like it. Giving advice or asking advice is different than trying to receive information to compare yourselves to another.
I think people have the keepin' up with the jones' mentality  far too much in today's society...some things just need to be left unsaid. 
Thanks Mom and Pops!


OceanDesert said...

THanks for commenting! I love to hear from new peeps! AND thanks for the A&P tips! Will definitely be using my hubby for that! LOVE your blog as well... and BEAUTIFUL job on the kitchen!

Wittschen's said...

I was taught same thing! Finances are never discussed!

Did you really have someone upset that you got to spend some mula on v-day?? wow.

I love when you blog! I'm glad you have been doing it more often these days!! :)

LDC said...

i love this post! i too never knew and still do not know any money matters from my paretns. i too do not speak of money and totally agree with you, the more you talk about it the more people tend to get jealous instead of happy for you.
the other day trenton had school store...where the pta sells junk to get kids money....well guess what, i forgot it was school store day and did not give trenton money. a boy that sits next to trenton waved his five dollars in trentons face and said i have money you dont.
of course trenton came home in tears which of course made me cry but i had to explain to him that its ok that his friend had money but it wasnt ok for his friend to show it off to him. and trenton is only 8!!!
so i guess for every person it does come from the parents of what you do with money. and i sure hope i am teaching trenton right.